A word about life, love, and confusion

I never thought I would be sharing an exerpt from my diary... As private as I am, and especially something as personal as this...it easily could be forgotten in a drawer somewhere and then burned with my other artifacts when I die. It kind of makes you wonder what would happen to your belongings when you disappear. Does someone rummage through them and search for answers? Maybe no one will read it, but secretly I hope they will. Maybe it will explain some things or shed some light on this experience that is thrown at us: life. 

My diary is written as my brain functions: eloquent then clumsy, lists and schedules, single thoughts, and extended theories... It is also not written in often. I am not an avid writer, nor am I an open person. Whether it's releasing emotion onto paper or to a person, the act of "releasing" and acknowledging is extremely difficult for me due to the vulnerability it creates. What an uncomfortable feeling! But the lightness you gain, after gracefully letting something go into the universe... Heaven.

Date: 6/14/14

...

"Slept in accidentally this morning after a long night of bar tending solo. Glad that no Oxy Infusions were scheduled today- always considering Kristin's approval. Constantly thinking I'm disappointing her. But I'm doing my best. That's all I can ask of myself. Have been spending time with **** again- he thinks we are together. Wanted to come up to Maine with me this trip. I agreed and then retracted. Concerned we aren't ready. I'm not ready. He's not the one for me. ****** told me he loved me the day after I had set up a boundary for the summer. It didn't seem to phase or shock me. I know we had a cosmic connection but was that love? My confusion takes over me - I feel crippled by the lack of emotion. Every time I say "I love you" to anyone, it feels like a lie. Desperately need for let go of this roller coaster with ****. It's unhealthy- I wish we could just be friends... I like spending time with him... And his friends. Always something to do. How do I let go? I could stay with him and be happy, but I would be settling, and I'm not ready to do that. I don't envision us together..."

"They say you just know. Where is he? Is it true that if I wait for the perfect one, I'll be waiting forever?"

Date: 7/11/14

...

"Funny that was nearly a month ago. So glad it's over but still trying to harness the lesson that's to be learned - not sure if I was ever in the wrong. Ultimately I believe the experience has taught me to be true to myself and not let someone convince me that I need to settle. Countless attempts to leave. I wasn't strong enough I guess. And unsure of what I wanted. Still must define my goals. Career goals are coming along. What else do I need for personal growth? A spiritual connection, increase my knowledge of life (Ayurveda?). Responsibility. Humility...why did that just come to mind? Integrity. Honesty. Serving a purpose. Taking advantage of opportunities. Say no to things that will not add value to my life."

"I seem to be numb. Flirting still serves as a means of fun and proves that I'm still searching. Exciting to see what the universe holds for me here. I hope something magical. Everyone deserves that. I've had bits and pieces, felt drops of love. But I don't believe I've ever experienced the whole ocean. I think I'd know. But when I have moments of weakness when it comes to connection, I secretly love it."

"Questioning my future (which is undefined and open to editing). Praying that it will involve someone special that I respect and who worships me. To travel with and cook and clean and swim and eat and make love. Who makes colors brighter and air lighter. When it feels right. I hear it's never easy. But I refuse to believe that love is hard. I think it just happens. Some things are meant to be. "

"Envision Your Life. Find what makes you happy and DO IT."

"I fall in love with strangers every day... With their style, their gaze... The way they hold s cup of tea or hug their children. See the wild as an animate painting. Deliberate but sometimes beautifully accidental. Always changing in detail, never finished. It's all a dance that isn't choreographed. Some are better at improvising than others. But most of us have no idea what the hell we're doing. Follow the lead of people you respect. Move in the direction of TRUTH and LOVE."

Letter of Intent: Aveda Institute

Aquene Diedricksen

Aveda Institute Lafayette

December, 2013

Letter of Intent

What is your personal definition of success?

I define success as realizing one’s full potential and harnessing it into positive energy to make an impact on the world. One’s success is the result of the full development of theirpotential. As humans, we owe it to ourselves and society to dig deep and discover who we are: passions, talents, wants, needs, and then make lifestyle choices based on those personaldiscoveries. Realizing ones’ capabilities is what defines our spirit and our contribution to the universe. By finding the balance between work and leisure, long-term success is possible. When one understands and uses that knowledge to “market” ones’ self, it results in an honest, educated, wholesome, and successful person.

What does beauty mean to you?

As many great writers such as Shakespeare and Benjamin Franklin have expressed, the perception of beauty is subjective. Never has there been a civilization on Earth that existed without some standard of beauty. While these standards have differed greatly over the years and across the seven seas, a common index of beauty is the harmony of proportion. This has been proven by developmental scientists that discovered humans’ innate ability to perceive the symmetry of the human face as a survival mechanism. Taking into account the evolving history and science behind beauty identification, the modern ideal of beauty, to me, is best encompassed by the concept of balance.

The concept of balance applies to the beauty industry on every level: from the products we use, to the techniques we practice. For example, the signs of a balanced diet and lifestyledefine our society’s standard of beauty: a well developed body, smooth and clear skin, glossy hair, bright eyes, good posture, alert facial expression, and positive outlook. I recognize and appreciate the beautiful balance in people who exude inner poise and outer radiance, because those two things are the result of a healthy and happy individual.

What accomplishments are you most proud of and why?

​One of my proudest accomplishments to date has been my decision to leave my home of Mount Desert Island, Maine after graduating high school in 2008 to study, live, and work in Louisiana. The reputably rich culture, employment opportunities, and combination of metropolitan and small-town societies is what led me to choose this state over others I was considering. The welcoming weather was simply a bonus. The transition from North to Southrepresented my search to become a more culturally fulfilled and learned person while experiencing a new place and meeting new people. My time in this state has allowed me to develop my socializing and networking abilities in a fast moving world. It has also helped me to appreciate my first home in Acadia as well as my new home in Acadiana. Personal and spiritual growth has ensued as a result of my decision to move here.

As a new year dawns, 2013, I find that I’m acutely aware of change: inner change, political change, social shifts and planetary change. With this sense of flux, I recognize my yearning for positive change in the form of wholeness and healing. This instinct has led to my most recent, and proudest, accomplishment: the decision to attend the Aveda Institute.

It’s been nearly three years that I’ve been out of school and working full time as a waitress. Fearing I was to become stuck in a profession and lifestyle that was less than fulfilling, I began to restlessly debate over what I could do in order to meet my financial needs while satisfying my creative side. Once discovering the Aveda Institutes, I visited the New Orleans campus in 2010 with prospects to attend for their esthiology program, but couldn’t find the motivation or money to make it happen at that time. It was within the last few months that I was reintroduced to the school, and whilst looking into the Lafayette campus, came back in touch with my passion. Feeling inspired, I claimed a renewed sense of faith in my God-given abilities and talents. As a result, I created a life vision that supported my short-term and long-term goals, specifically including the Aveda Institute of Lafayette as my link to a future career in the beauty industry.

How do you hope to contribute to the industry when you are finished with your training?

Upon completing the Aveda Institute’s esthiology program, I hope to contribute to the health, beauty, and wellness industry by performing skin care treatments based on Ayurvedic principles, practicing safe and effective techniques, blending the aspects of science and nature to create visual changes, all while enforcing a high standard of sustainability through the support of Aveda’s Environmental Commitment. I’m confident in my ability to achieve this goal because ofmy dedication to perfection within myself and this industry. Also, I know that Aveda will provide me the opportunity to develop my personality, professionalism, and salesmanship to the level that is vital for success.

It’s important for me to find a career within a business that understands the importance of utilizing natural and organic ingredients, holds the highest performance standards, and addresses the interconnectedness of the skin with all other organs and life processes (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual). My main focus throughout my skin care career will be healing versus concealing.

In the future, I would like to specifically address the younger (12-18 years) population by educating them about achieving health benefits through making positive changes in their lives, starting with self care and respect. By developing wellness skills for children and adolescents to use throughout their lives, I would be preventing and correcting health issues before they become irreversible. Expanding on my background in psychology, nutrition, and skin care, I want to incorporate the inner and outer aspects of beauty to create a business based on empowering young women.

I understand that Aveda will provide me with the tools I need to succeed as a licensed esthetician. My ultimate goal is to provide the most thorough and effective skin care for a developed client base by combining the knowledge I have gained through education and personal experience.

True Beauty: An Introduction

The concepts of health and beauty are constantly evolving. Globally, we are coming across new—and rediscovering old—medical research and philosophies pertaining to the attainment and maintenance of humans’ well-being. Modern medical advances have led many to believe that we can find external youth in a bottle, and freedom from disease in a pill. With an overwhelming quantity of contradicting sources claiming to hold the golden ticket to happiness and physical longevity, we ponder what exactly defines universal health. 

ABOUT ME

My name is Aquene Diedricksen, and my goal is to uncover the ambiguity of this term, learning how to contribute towards the promotion of complete physical, mental, emotional, and social well-being.

I have designed this blog not only to encourage myself to live well, but to share with others what I have learned (and will be learning) through my daily experience and education. I plan to work locally and think globally with the concept of providing a health coaching/mentoring service for today's adolescent women.

My vision is to help young girls as they grow by educating them on multiple subjects, ranging from fitness and beauty to art and spirituality to give them the tools that are not are often not provided to them by their schools, counselors, the media, or even their families and friends.

WHAT IS ABSOLUTE BEAUTY?

In our world today, we exhibit a blind and blinding faith in the power of science to cure all illnesses, no matter what we do to cause them. We are held to seemingly impossible standards of physical health and beauty, and many believe that if we do not live up to those standards, we must compensate by turning to less favorable measures such as elective surgery and dietary medicines. By suppressing the symptoms of illness or surgically removing diseased parts, it allows us to achieve an appearance of good health without actually being healthy. Western society seems to accept the external bodily appearance as qualification for an individual’s overall well-being. This perception helps to explain the growing market for products that stand behind a façade of instant gratification, and gives insight to the increasing number of individuals who are affected by eating disorders and alcohol and drug abuse. In short, our culture has notions of fitness and nutrition that few of us can adhere to. With this said, I firmly believe the cultural interpretation of these more external corporeal elements presents only one facet of the ever-changing concept of health. Moreover, I believe that the overall well-being of the individual should be constituted on internal and external levels.

I define good physical health as a result between the interaction of two fundamental elements, and I have exercised these elements in the maintenance of my own well-being. These elements include the manner in which we treat our body, and how we interact with our peers and our environment. To elucidate further, the treatment of our body is regulated through our diet, physical activity, while our interactions are characterized by the relationships we make and maintain with ourself, others, and our surroundings. In the words of Pratima Raichur, author of Absolute Beauty, “life is the totality of experience, not merely a collection of physical parts, and human experience happens fundamentally through the filter of the mind and senses on the level of consciousness.” The problem lies in the fact that our society’s definition of health is skewed, failing to effectively recognize the importance of all of these elements, and instead focusing on exterior appearance alone.  

The discrepancy between society’s generalized view of physical health and the opinion of more educated sources has acted as a catalyst in my research of the effects of holistic health, alternative medicine, and Ayurveda. I have taken particular interest in Ayurveda because of its emphasis on the causative role of thought and behavior in health and disease. Ayurvedic treatments harness the body’s inherent ability to heal and balance itself, restoring overall appearance, emotional disposition, and mental aptitude. Ayurveda applies concepts of healing and spirituality, botanical therapies, and therapeutic touch, and addresses the element of wholeness, the one thing that is missing from our culture’s idea of health.

After recognizing the frustration and confusion of individuals’ in their quest for health and beauty, I’ve decided to make it my mission to provide myself with the knowledge and tools needed to help them. Through a comprehensive education in integrative nutrition and Aveda's esthiology program in Lafayette, Louisiana, I plan to pursue my long-standing passion for physical and emotional well-being, and so that I may obtain my goals as a professional and make an effective difference in the health and wellness field. I am eager to learn about additional alternative herbal remedies, holistic nutrition, and therapy options. I look forward to educating the public (specifically young children and adolescents) of the benefits of incorporating natural healing methods into their normal healthcare routines. I am excited at the prospect of beginning a new future in my field of interest.

"I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal." - Incubus, Warning

XOX - The Girl With the Mermaid Tattoo